How to talk about movies that you haven't seen - Volume I: Citizen Kane

We've all been there. In the middle of a discussion about a very famous and important movie that you should have seen, but you haven't.

Let's face it. We lead busy lives. Watching a movie takes a lot of time. And, often, watching a classic movie takes a lot of brain power. There's a lot of pressure, too, watching a movie that's generally beloved and respected. Sometimes it's better to watch a lightweight movie. Or an episode of a television series.

Or five episodes of a television series. Mmm, Bunheads.

But that puts us in the awkward position, when people we're talking to start discussing, say, The Godfather, of having not seen the movie.

And thus we have two choices. We can either tell the truth, say we haven't seen The Godfather, and spend the rest of the discussion alternatively being berated for not having seen SUCH A CLASSIC MOVIE!!! and being told to go and watch said movie AT ONCE. Or...we can lie. Pretend we've seen The Godfather. Use the accumulated knowledge floating around in popular culture, and a zillion references from The Simpsons, to flub our way through the conversation. Peppered with vague comments like, "Oh, yeah, it's such a classic!", of course.

And this is where I come in.

This is what happens when you drive for 12 hours straight...

To salute the sun, or not to salute the sun...

Ok, ok, I get it. Your signals are clear, and I am at last heeding your warnings.

So please, my dear body, stop the damn leg cramps!

I know I’ve avoided exercise for the last 3 years. Oh, boy, do I know it. Every time I walk up a set of stairs I know it.

Damn you, stairs.

I get that the weight I’ve slowly accumulated around my thighs is a direct result of my lack of exercise. And also a lot of sitting on my arse at computers and on lounges in front of televisions. I guess the weight is acting as padding to make these activities more comfortable? Very smart, body, but also a very good warning sign. I mean, if you feel the need to make sitting for extended periods more comfortable for my butt, it’s pretty clear that I’m doing too much of it.

Waaaaay too much of it.

And then I decided that I kinda missed stockings

I love warm weather. Warm weather is my favourite of all the weathers. Warm weather and I...we’re like this (imagine my fingers crossed). Warm weather’s my bro, my homie, my...something else 90’s sounding. So, understandably, the fact that the weather is indeed warming up makes me deliriously happy.

Today I left my house wearing a dress. This is nothing new; I wear dresses 90% of the time. But I accessorised my dress with bare legs.

*gasp*

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...

I don’t know whether you’ve ever lived alone, but it is a fulfilling experience. Relying wholly and solely on yourself for everything – groceries, cooking, cleaning, well-being – is something that we don’t generally do. We live with our families, we house-share, we move in with our partners. Living alone is expensive, and it’s lonely.

But I have to say that I never found it lonely. There’s a difference between loneliness and being alone, and I don’t mind being alone. I think I thrived on finding out what I was capable of without anyone there to motivate me. Needless to say, I enjoyed the experience, and my apartment and I shared a close personal bond. It was my first house of my very own.

The place I fulfilled dreams.

The place where love was rekindled.

The place where I began to be an adult.

And, this week, the place I bid adieu to start the next stage of my life in our house of dreams.

I will miss it, my quirky little space. Yes, even the train line my kitchen window overlooked. I know that I am crazy lucky, that our house of dreams is amazing, that I’m here with my love, and that our loved ones are close by. But while I’m stepping out on the road to somewhere amazing, I’m holding close the sweet memories created in my first little place.

Get me a big ol' bucket o' love

Please try to remember the first of Liptember!

Happy Liptember everyone!

http://www.liptember.com.au/profile.aspx?u=natalie.holland

Why surfing the net is dangerous. Sort of.

Oh dear. The internet has done it to me again.

I was looking forward to some good old random internet searching tonight, as it’s been a while since I’ve perused my favourite sites. I had visions of craft inspirations and laughter-inducing pictures of cats doing weird things dancing in my head as I snuggled up in front of the computer and typed in the usual addresses.

But here I am, 20 minutes later, feeling crap about myself and thoroughly discouraged from ever doing anything, ever again.

The internet has shown me the light. I am clearly a failure who will never be able to apply flawless liquid eyeliner, or clean my house in the correct way, or have perfect hair every day. My life is no longer worth living, as I have not yet succeeded in painting a piece of funky second-hand furniture with an awesomely bright paint. For god’s sakes, I don’t even have an oven to bake my Mario-themed cupcakes in! You’d think that this would leave me more time to stick to that very simple exercise plan that floats around in a fluoro meme, involving 20 repetitions of 20 push-ups, sit-ups, burpees, star jumps, squats and lunges, but I can’t even get motivated enough for that!

That’s it. I’m just gonna lie here and think about how I’m wasting my life. Go ahead, step over my immobile body. Maybe you could lie some hand-made origami flowers upon it, and say some nice things about how I once had the best intentions to be arty and crafty and organised and fit and clean?

“She was hopeless,” they will say. “But she always had the best intentions.”

Rest in peace, my talents and ambitions. I shall miss you.

Read my lips (and then donate to them too!)

Pucker up and get ready folks, cos Nothing Cutesy’s applying the lipgloss every day in September!

I will be participating in Liptember, a fundraiser raising awareness and monies for women’s health. Specifically, mental health issues in women. Here, the website says it better than me...

http://www.liptember.com.au/about.aspx

Basically, it’s like Movember, but for women. So instead of growing a moustache (which, to be honest, I would be terrible at) I will be wearing this lovely lipgloss for the entirety for September, day in, day out.

Driving, ranting, rah rah rah

My life is turning into one giant stream of “The closer you get, the slower I go”.

Well, my driving life, anyway.

It seems that for the past month, every time I get out on the road there’s some loon sitting as close as possible to the rear end of my car, hovering menacingly in an attempt to make me either exceed the speed limit or move out of their way. It doesn’t matter whether I’m crawling along in peak hour traffic, cruising in regular, speed-limit abiding traffic, or the only other car on the road (and also in the left lane with a perfectly free middle lane on my right). There they are, so close I can barely see their headlights in the rear vision mirror.

Before I continue my rant, let me get a few things straight. I’m not a slow driver. I am also not a fast driver, because I am a rule-abider who likes to do the speed limit. Call me what you will, but know that  I also do not like going stupidly slow because the person in the car in front of me is deciding to take a leisurely drive at 40kph in a 110kph zone in a place where I cannot overtake. I experience the frustration often, yet because I am a polite person who tries her darndest to be a nice person also, I try to be patient.

I mean, I yell and scream and rant at the slowpoke, but in the confines of my car where the person cannot hear me. Clearly. I’m patient and polite, yes, but rude and mean I am not.

Unlike some of the “people” I have encountered in the past month.